I worked alot of things out today, the peaceful atmosphere around me helped me clear my head a bit. Well, not a bit, more like alot.
Even though, I may feel things for two people, I have a relationships with one of them, that, I wouldn't trade for the world, and, I definately don't want to risk that friendship, so, I've decided nothing should happen, Even if I feel I love him, I won't make those same mistakes again. Not this time round. He'll be over me soon anyway, with a new girlfriend, a better one. (: And I'll be happy for him, because, I'll know he's happy.
With the other, I've decided, to take my cousins advice, least, I think I will.. and, I'm going to find out if he still has feelings for me, because, lets face it, I love him, alot, and, I can't stop myself from loving him.. sigh, I think of him almost everyday..
I also figured out that,
This will sound extremely sad,
but,
cutting myself does help.
Alot.
So.. Now when I feel upset.. I guess..my solution is to cut instead of killing myself.
Sigh.
Pretty stupid right?
Also, I'm still worried about Andrew, I love that kid.
I mean..if he does something to himself..and leaves me walking this Earth alone, I will re-kill him. :3 Because, then, me and him wouldn't be able to live in our shoe together in a cloud <3
Jacqob still worries me, scared he'll do something to himself one day, But, guess all I can do is hope he doesn't.
Thats about all for today though..
No comments:
Post a Comment