Today,
I've actually felt..good? Like, when I feel down, I try think of something else and today its working. ^-^
Aside from that
I still have that big worrying feeling, :/ Although this time its for tomorrow. I'm going to hospital. I'm freaken praying that everythings ok, thats how worried I am.
Last night I had the dreams, you know, the not good ones.
It was of my childhood.. when.. my dad almost blew up my house and would of killed everyone in it.. and something woke my mum up and she saved us.. except in the dream, i was the person waking her up. It was the weirdest thing ever.
Then last night, I also had one of my lovey dovey dreams, wasn't Kayle this time, I mean I fell asleep thinking of Kayle but ended up dreaming of being with someone who isn't him. Also, the weirdest thing ever.
I don't know what to write, my days are just blurred now, but, I made a promise to myself last night, that, no matter what, I won't commit suicide.. to look after the people I care about. I'll always be there for them, no matter how much pain I'm in.
