I hate when people ask, ''what you doing?'' and your in the middle of.. destroying your skin.. sigh.
So.. I full on freak out at school because I'm so afraid of his reaction.. He wasn't around at recess.. so I sat down and thought over things, then, Aaron comes over with his guitar and starts playing and singing random songs. :D He's funny.
Sigh, then it was boring till lunch came.. I got myself to go over there.. almost in tears as it is.. then I talk to him.. and sigh..
Well.
He made it clear he doesn't love me anymore.
I give up.. I can't go on.. loving him like this.. for no reason..
I felt better when I got home.. went in the shower..got my scissors.. and yeah..
thats about 9 or 10 new scars on my left arm/hand now.. eh doing that really does help..even though it may sound insane..it helps.. and, it stops me thinking about it for alittle one..
But aside from that.
^-^ Chris is there for me, I mean, he even complimented my hair. x]
He's so cool..he even offered to speak to Kayle for me.. but, yeah, as I said.. I think I give up now. I feel like shit which could be why I'm saying this but, I really..don't want to deal with it anymore..
And, recently like, I'm actually becoming closer to Andrew, not in that way but, like, as if we're really close friends again, which, I love.
We kind of drifted apart for awhile.. but, just, I'm glad we're close again.
He be's amazing. :D
I've drifted apart from Jacqob though, although, I think since he's unhappy and I can't help, its best to leave him be I think.
Well, hopefully tomorrows a better day for me. The new cuts start healing, He doesn't speak to me, and I just, sit there and spend the day to myself.. Sigh.
