You won't win this war.

Done with everything.
And everyone.
Done with the world.
Done with life.

I don't even know why.
But.
I give up.

Put a gun to my head, and, paint the walls with my brain.

Things are continuously getting worse.
Have I done something wrong?

I had Sharron call me last night, all concerned.. thinking I was ending it.. not to lie, I was considering it again. :/
Billys going into hospital for a few weeks soon. He's. My reason for living.. he doesn't pull through.. neither will I.
I hate blogging, I feel like a whiney bitch. But its better than talking to someone who just tells you to stay on the brightside, or look after yourself.

Theres no brightside.
I will not look after myself.

One more thing goes wrong.
Its over.
I'm gone.
I hope your happy now God. You wanted me to suffer. You've got it now. Right infront of you.

Look Right Through Me.

Ah can't remember when I last blogged.

Been nothing to say,
I've been going with the flow, see where I end up. Hope everything just goes away.
Mums set me aside because Billy's more important and, needs help. I have to wait.
I don't even know if she remembers when I spoke to her about my problem. Don't even think she cares to be honest..
It'd be to hard to speak to her again.

Just been putting things behind me, trying to look positively, trying to, save myself. From me.
I have people here for me I know. I know theres people I can turn too for help. But. I can't. I'm weak.
I want to get a hobbie. To maybe distract me from thinking.

I've been thinking far to much lately.
My dreams and my life.. well.. the dreams seem more real at the moment, or I just want to believe the dreams are life and life is the dream, So.
Sleeping and dreaming forever, seems nice.
But I can't do it.
I'm not, taking the easy way out.

I want it all to go away.


School tomorrow. Oh joy.
:l Sigh. I'm going to. try harder this term.
Atleast then when I'm older, I can be proud of myself.
Lets just get through these 10 weeks... then more holidays..