Hm.

I feel myself getting worse and worse as the days go by,
My thoughts are getting worse I..just.. I don't know whats wrong with me.

Melody knows about me being like this now, sigh, wish I didn't open up about anything.. She said I'm getting depressed and I need to get help..
I'm getting help.. Its just a matter of when I will recieve that help..

Is it so hard to be happy? Like everyone else? >_< I want to be normal.

Sigh I told Melody about my thoughts aswell...where..I hear things that didn't even happen, like hearing something fall but nothing did, hearing someones moan when nobody is around.

Maybe I'm just losing my mind?


But about my day..
I got really worried about Billy today..sigh.. he locked himself in his room.. I was scared.. he'd be either destroying his skin..or going to kill himself.. I hate him being by himself when he's unhappy I know its normal and everything for someone to be alone in their room..but I can't stand it.. the thought of him doing what I do to myself.. >_<


I don't know anymore.
My life isn't even that bad.. I just feel down constantly.

I've been thinking about what my cousin said, that, I'll know who I love because the moment will just seem right. She also told me to write everything about the two people on a piece of paper and see who has more things to like, theres only 1 thing I like more about one than the other.
Fail.

Loves the least of my worryings right now, Although, it would be nice to know who exactly I love but then, if I were to go out with them, they'd get sick of me constantly complaining about my problems and constantly having to help me.. it'd be to much pressure on him.. :/

even though, I said I don't care about myself.. I'm actually starting to worry about myself, whats happening to me?